To Find the Words to say the Sentences to spark the Conversation to Make this Right

Finding
Seeking.
Searching.
Finding.

I can't find.
Reasons.
So many.
To find the words.

I can't find.
Words.
So many.
To find the sentences.

I can't find.
Sentences.
So many.
To find the conversation.

I can't find.
Conversation.
So many.
To find.

How can the only thing,
killing.
me.
Be
Making me feel so alive?