I realized tonight that there is no February 29th and I'm not alright with that. I am so not alright with that, that I'm not even sure what to do about it. February 29th. It's 6 months since you took your last breath. I'm just confused. If there's no February 29th, how long have you been gone? When is 6 months if there's no date for it? How am I supposed to send a wish and a prayer and a note up to you like I do every month if there's no date this time. I'm breaking down. I just need some help and a hug and a mug of hot chocolate tonight. I don't usually do this. I'm normally sad alone in my room with a pile of strawberries searching Tumblr for some solace but I just don't see how to solve this one. I need something concrete and it's not there. There's no date. How is that possible? What does that mean? Does time freeze?
This isn't a poem and it wasn't poetic and it's not really writing but I promise that it comes from the heart and I don't care who hears because all I need is some help. Really. Just help. I'm sick of pretending that I'm strong when I'm not, pretending that I'm okay because I should be, and pretending that I have it all figured out when to be honest I'm 16 and have no idea what's going on.
Let me cry tonight. I'll be better tomorrow.
I think.
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