Fragile, Handle With Care

Well I looked at the starts tonight and

yes they screamed your name but that's not new, it's all I hear these

days it's like holding a seashell up to your ear,

able to hear the world but all I hear is one voice, one voice

and it won't stop I say,

"give it a rest,"

but no you can't suck the bullets back into the gun especially when

everybody says,

"move on, get over it,"

so this is me saying, "what if I don't want to, what if all I want is you?"

and I'll scream it back to the stars and we'll get into a fight,

but really I'm just fighting with God,

fighting, arguing, and wishing, waiting.

it's no

big deal,

fighting with my mind, fighting with the gift,

fighting with that little girl on the playground,

the one in the sandbox when she said,

"oh don't you worry, prince charming will come"

she lied, don't listen to five year olds

because yeah I'm just fighting with me,

arguing with myself,

Matchbox20 told me that I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell,

so why don't you come back here right where you belong,

make me well and keep me strong,

I thought I'd never say this, but I can't go on.

I'm waiting, wishing and wishing that I was different, that

I belonged that I felt whole again,

and I do except when I'm alone like right now at

11:30 at night it's alright,

its just me, I'll cry oh so silently and try not to use up

all the tissues like I did last night.

I don't want to move on I'm not ready, I thought this was my decision

but I guess I was wrong about that too,

don't worry, I won't come back to you, because even though I want to,

you wouldn't get it,

I'm in chains, in prison, licking the floor.

Trying to get out and I think I see my chance, but it

hurts yes it hurts so bad,

I see my heart beating my blood flowing and I'm so

fucking happy that there's actually some left.

Move on, move on, but they don't understand:

the heart I gave you was yours to break and you broke me and the road

and the little breadcrumb trail that,

in all honesty,

I trusted to lead me home. Hell, I should

know not to trust actors because you're a damn good liar

and you kept me going for so long,

Yes, you broke me like a bone,

broke me easier than a twig and you promised,

you said you would be gentle, you said you

wouldn't do this, just because I said,

put a shipping label on me,

"Fragile, Handle With Care"